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August 14, 2020 3 min read

Where does “hate” begin and “love” end? The answer is “judgment.”

When we are young children, we do not “hate” anyone until the adults in our lives or the environment we live it teach us what hate is. Hate begins when you judge someone… most likely unfairly. You judge someone to be different than you which causes emotional confusion. Perhaps they are better than you at something and if you possess any sort of insecurity about yourself, that might make you angry — but you will direct that anger, that emotion, toward them. If you don’t balance that raw emotion with hard work and a dedication to improving yourself that emotion can fester into hate.

Maybe you are better than another person at something and this drives a feeling of superiority in you. If you don’t balance that superiority with humility, then you become arrogant — and that emotion can build into a social hatred of anyone that you deem “inferior,” for whatever reason.

This emotional catalyst for hate can be based on performance, money, looks, peer groups, religion, other ideologies, or any little thing that might make an insecure person just uncomfortable enough in their own skin to manifest a dislike for another human that can boil to the degree of hate.

Sadly, often “hate” is bred from social ignorance — especially in the case of race, religion, identity, or ideology. Numerous are the stories in history where two colliding groups or individuals were forced into a circumstance that required them to spend time and proximity to one another. Out of these experiences, each came away with an understanding of the other that shattered the emotional wall of hate and led to connection, empathy, and love.

I was once a product of that ignorance and bigotry. Coming from a small and isolated town, there was extraordinarily little diversification of any sort (skin color, religion, political ideology, etc.). When I graduated high school and attended a major University, I walked on to campus with absolute preconceived notions about certain people, none of which were healthy — but it was what I knew from my environment.

Fortunately, I was exposed, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly, to individuals that I held deep-seeded beliefs about. In those experiences, I learned to realize that they are just as human as I am and are experiencing the same daily struggles that I was, if not compounded because of who they were and how society evaluated them. These were good people that I learned to love, respect, and call my friends. I never actually hated anyone for any of the reasons I thought I should hate someone… I just thought I was supposed to, because until that time, I had never experienced life outside of my fishbowl. I only knew what I learned in that fishbowl.

The point is that judgment is the fulcrum that brings emotional stability from love down to hate. Once you judge someone and consider yourself inferior (in which case your insecurities will kick in) or superior (which is also a sign of insecurity), then you have opened the door for hate. The way to address that is through humility. Living your life with the understanding that every person on this planet is just as human as you regardless of how different they may be from “you” and reminding yourself that they aren’t just different from you, “you” are different from them… and that’s ok. You are statistically unlikely to be the absolute best or the absolute worst at anything in the world, so why judge others when you could be and probably have been equally judged?
It’s Humanity 4 Humanity. All for one and one for all. That is the only way we move past hate and push through to love and empathy and understanding and peace and prosperity. More LOVE, less judgment.

Be well, be kind and be great,

-H Factor